A Child Outside Wedlock, What Would You Do?

KehindeMarriage is considered a sacred institution and a life-contract to be respected and protected. Both parties work hard to sustain it but at times, situations arise to test the faith and trust of both the man and the woman. Even though many people in a marital relationship may condone extra-marital affairs by their partners, the thought of having a child outside wedlock is unthinkable. Against this backdrop, Nwanne Okereke, Azeezat Abdulrasheed, Ushang Christiana and Adegboyega Adewale sampled the views of a cross-section of Nigerians.

Chief Udoji (Babalaje of Ikolaba): There is nothing I will do since I have taken her to the altar, except she is not faithful to me again. I will still love her.

Kehinde Adetunji: Well, it depends, if it is after marriage there is nothing I can do. That is my cross.

Mr. Alabi S. Biodun: I will send them out, both my wife and her baby. giving her a second chance may be dangerous. I will also not re-marry again.

Simi: I will find out the age of the child and ask if the mother is alive or not. If the mother and the child will not be a trouble to me, I will accept the child and continue.

Mrs. Eze Bernice: As a Christian, I will ask my husband if it is true. And if true, there’s nothing. I can do.I can’t leaveand let my children suffer because I value them more than my husband.

Femi Emitomo: I will die if such a thing happens. I can’t forgive her. As a Christian, I am not to marry more than one wife. I will send her out and never re-marry.

Prophet Ekong Alfred: The Bible says that what God has joined together, let no man put asunder. I will forgive her and pray over it.

Aanu Bankole: I’d be very disappointed but you know, they say love forgives No man can take it, but if it happens, we have to live with it. If the man is responsible, I can forgive him and accept the child. You know, if the child were mine I’d have him with me and care for him. So I’ll just forgive the man and life goes on. He may not have told me because he was scared and didn’t want to lose me, you know, when someone is scared, he is usually controlled by fear. So, he may not have told me for fear of being rejected. I will just forgive him in order for us to have peace in the home.


Chief UdojiGbenga Adenuga: There’s nothing I can do. I’ll just accept it as one of the things that was meant to happen. I know the woman’s conscience will prick her, because, whenever you discus something related to that , she would feel you are referring to her. Having a chid is not a bad thing, especially if the woman is responsible. I’ll just accept and take the child in. There’s no problem with accepting the child, especially if he’s one that lacks care. Why not, I’ll take him in and care for him.

Wasiu Macaulay: Love is based on trust. If you’re married and there’s no trust, that marriage is as good as ended. If my woman had a child and she never mentioned it, I may end up leaving her. And If I don’t, I will not trust her again. You know, a man will think of so many things, even when the woman is pious and responsible. It’s a difficult situation, and you need God’s guidance for you to take the right step.

Halimat Adedeji: I know it could happen but I’m not expecting it. You know, everyone has a plan for a happy home, nobody would want someone from somewhere to destroy her happiness. But then, nobody is above mistakes. So I’ll just accept it as a mistake on the man’s part, take it as a thing of the past and take care of the child, if need be. Almighty God will forgive sins, so we should forgive the sins of others, so I will forgive him and we will continue to live together.

Adewale Ogunjobi: I would send her out of my house; why should I forgive her? It is very bad for her to do that kind of thing, that means she can kill me, since she didn’t tell me beforehand.

Olawole Salami: Really, it is one of those things, we can’t stop someone from doing what he wants; if I find out, there’s no problem, I’d take it that God has a reason for everything.

Adeyomi Araromi: I can’t do anything, since we are married; for the sake of love, we would resolve it, I don’t see the idea of divorce –once you’re married, you are. If I divorce her and marry another person, what if I have problem with her? I would continue to re-marry, we just have to take it like that.

Funmi Ajala: I believe in one thing, if she is my wife, she will be truthful; I’d call it a day with her if I found out, even if we have dated for just one month. She has to be truthful.

Tayo Abel: It is a tough question, it is the highest level of dishonesty, it is absolute divorce, I can’t forgive her. If she was honest, she would have told me, I have seen a particular couple that were in that situation. My religion does not permit divorce, but if she didn’t tell me, that means she can do anything.

Becky Alex: If I found out, there is nothing I can do, I would take it like that.

Kemi Balogun: I might react, but my reaction won’t be too harsh, it’s just that the love would be divided, I would concentrate on my children, how could he do such a thing?

Afolabi Ogunsaju: I will feel bad, but at the same time, I would forgive her. I would think she didn’t tell me because she might be afraid. I’d just tell her not to let it repeat itself. Love covereth all sins, if you truly love your wife, you’d forgive her.