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Saturday, 10 December 2011
Dear Yemisi,
I really appreciate what you have been doing to help people in their marriages and relationships and I pray to God to grant you more wisdom and knowledge.
I need your help because I am confused and I need an urgent advice so as to know the right step to take. I am 28, dating a 22-year-old lady. We have been dating since 2008. I helped her secure admission into the school where I graduated from in the northern part of the country.
I graduated in 2008 and she got admission that same year; I completed my youth service in 2009, and I have not be able to get a job, though I am fine because my parents are there for me. I have also enrolled for some professional programmes to add to my cv. Though, she doesn’t pressurise me for anything, but I give her whatever I can afford to help her both academically and materially and she is contented with it.
In fact, whenever I don’t have or she is in need, she would go for menial jobs like assisting bricklayers so as to meet her needs or mine. Since 2008 that we've been dating each other, she has never cheated on me even in school and at home, while I too has maintained my sanity because we have geniune love for each other.
In June, I got a good job and she was happy. Consequently, I bought her many things in order to appreciate her for being there for me all this while that we didn’t have enough to share.
Thereafter, when she was about to resume for the second semester in July which happened to be her last semester of her ND programme, I gave her enough money for her project and upkeep.
Mid-July, she called me to inform me that a man was disturbing her and she forwarded all to me and I told her not to mind him. As time went on, I believed that the man was no longer a threat, because she didn’t talk about him again. Along the line, she came home in September for a week; during her stay, I discovered that she's changed and I told her my observation. I observed that she has started lying and the rate at which she receives calls have increased and that it appears that she's been dating someone in school, which she denied.
A week after her visit, during one of our conversations on phone she told me that she's been having feelings for the man she told me about then. I told her not to mind him, that I would increase my calls to her, so that her feelings for the other man could be minimised, and from that day I ensured I call her many times daily.
Recently, I discovered that she's been dating the guy since August, she even confessed that she had had sex with him five times. She even sworn with the Bible and that she had visited the man twice at home.
I told her that I was no longer interested in her, she wept and begged me to forgive her. She immeditely put a call through to the man that I had known about their secret dating and that she was no longer interested in the affair. In spite of this, I stood my ground that she should leave me and since then I have been traumatised. Later, I sent her away from my place and went to inform her mum of my findings. She rebuked her and said she couldn’t plead on her behalf.
Later, she started calling me late in the night because I have been having sleepless nights and I have refused to pick her calls because I thought she might want to plead for her. On a second thought, I picked the call and she said I should help talk to daughter who was planning to jump into the well in their compound; I told her mum it was none of my business. She still called back to tell me that she was not asking me to take her back, but to dissuade her from killing herself. At this point, I asked her mum to give her the phone and I told her that committing suicide is an unforgivable sin while promising to take her back which she said she couldn’t believe.
The following morning, she went to one of my friends to confess and asked him to plead on her behalf. He declined, but asked her to go and plead with me once again. I accepted her apology, and I forgave her, but I can’t get it out my head, I can’t sleep since, though I still love her, but I am confused.
Please, what can I do to forget?
Solo.
Dear Readers, what do you think Solo should do?
Kindly send your reactions to 08078891815 or mail yemiaofolaju @yahoo.comwith your full names, correct number and address.
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