Dear Yemisi,

I am a mother of one. My husband and I stayed together in the higher institution, but we used to go to his parents. Later, he travelled outside the country and I still go to them because his father said we should be coming home always, but I have discovered that my mother-in-law is giving me problem.

If I do anything, she would talk as if she has another lady for her son, moreso she did not allow me to go to my family. What should I do?

Should I quit the marriage or continue? I told my husband that we should be visiting them once in a while, but he said I should learn how to stay with his family. Both families are known to each other. My mother knows about  how I am being treated, but she said she once asked before my marriage to him if I ‘would be able to cope’

We love each other. Please, reply me on time.

Anonymous.

Dear Anonymous,

Are you still in school? Or you were referring to when you were courting?

Whether you are still in school or not, I want to believe that you are legally married to each other. And if this is the case, it is better you learn how to cope with your in-laws, especially your mother-in-law.

In this part of the world, once  married, you are married not only to your husband, but his people as well. You need to get this right now.

You equally stated that your husband is out of the country, the more reason why you must get your acts together.

Your mother-in-law’s action could have stemmed from the fact that you have been behaving short of her expectations. If you had not accepted her as your mother, there is no way she would force herself on you, provided they had done what is expected of them as in-laws. You need to worm yourself into her heart for you to enjoy your marriage. Don’t forget that your husband’s parents are the ones calling the shots now and you must not betray your hubby’s trust. You have to respect them at all cost.

Whatever the magnitude of the problem, though you did not go into details, you have to learn how to cope so as not to lose your home.

Have you forgotten that you made a covenant of ‘till death do us part?’ Please, marriage is not a bed of roses but an institution where you expect the good, the bad and the ugly. You must learn tolerance and perseverance and don’t give your mother-in-law the impression that she has a plan B to get your husband another wife. What if this is untrue?

My dear sister, even if you decide to leave this man, who exactly is the next man? Angel or devil? Be careful and don’t act on impulse.

Take time to study what actually puts her on the edge, work on this area of your life and see what happens at the end of the day.

Stop reporting your mother-in-law to her son, he would later hate you.

Be wise.

Comments (1)

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Be Wise
written by Abiola Sunday M, January 14, 2012

While travelling across Nigeria Tribune I balm with the page wish you wrote about quitting your Marriage due to your Mother-in law giving little problem if i may ask you did u get married to your mother-in? however from the bottom of your story i think you have another intention or you already going around another man otherwise having a problem with your mother-in law will not propel you to think quitting your marriage will be the nest option, let me advice you i don't think you are leaving with your mother only you do visit or if you are living with your mother in-law i think best thing for you is to learn how to do things the way your mother in-law will find you best otherwise if you keep think quitting your marriage.destroy your Marriage. God will help if you think normal and have it in back of your mind no matter where you go to there is another devil waiting for you married another man you will still face the say thing don expect all his family member will find you the best so it better you hold on to what you have otherwise you find your self in a farms of no option where you will subjected to force to learned how to leave with devil not devil agent.

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